Pug Jail

Hello from Mimi, aka inmate 2116. Sorry for the lengthy silence but time gets distorted when one is in jail. That's right, I was put in pug jail. Something about "inciting dog disobedience" or some malarkey like that. I'm a pug that likes to speak her mind even if "the man" doesn't like it. And now I'll probably have my sentence lengthened for calling Momma a man but it's not like I'm going to see the light of day after what happened yesterday anyway so I might as well tell you. Keep in mind what I allegedly said about the word NO last time...

So I don't get to sleep with Momma. When I came from my first home at the ripe ol age of 7 weeks, I was so little that Momma was afraid she'd squish me in her sleep and wake up to a nightmare. Add that I like peeing and pooping in beds and us co-sleeping is a no go. So I sleep out in the living room in an enclosure, not a crate, so we both get sleep. But because of Mom's health issues let's just say our sleep schedules don't match up. I have newspapers so I can potty even when she's not awake but there are times where things happen outside and I need to tell her about them, even if she's asleep. Sometimes its "hey! there's a dude with a leaf blower and he's being loud!" or "hey! there are children and they're being loud!" or even "there's snow falling off the roof and it's being loud!" She usually yells back "Mimi! I can hear them too! You don't need to tell me now go back to sleep!" She says she can hear them but I'm not so sure because she doesn't get up to yell at them (though she almost did at leaf blower guy one time...) Anyway yesterday she told me to hush but I didn't so she got up to tell me in person. Normally at this point I would get the message and reluctantly obey, but this time I didn't. Lemme give you all a word of advice, If a Momma (or a Daddy as the case may be) comes and angrily tells you to stop something, maybe you should listen because if they have to do it a second time you might not get as many treats or cuddles. And dog civil disobedience is great till it affects intake of treats and/or cuddles.

Mom says I'm not allowed to "shawshank" my way out of prison, but I won't be going under...

The Big N-O

Let's be honest. We, as animals, are often ruled by baser instincts at times: need to procure food, need to perpetuate the species, the "call of nature," etc. But I have a need most of you do not, a need... for mischief! I thrive on trouble, revel in destruction and laugh at discipline! I see something and no matter how hard I might try (if I try at all) I cannot resist the sweet siren song of a stray receipt, a fallen sock or even something as simple as a dust bunny. I want them all in my mouth, every last one of them. Momma does her best to create a "pug zone" in the rooms where I am allowed so as to minimize my ability for trouble but occasionally there are slip ups and oh what joyous days those are! But Momma keeps saying this word that has zero meaning to me and its spelled N-O.

From what I can loosely gather by contextual clues, "no" means I'm not supposed to do something or I'm supposed to stop doing whatever it is that Momma doesn't like. The problem is, everything that I hear associated with NO is so. freaking. AWESOME! How am I supposed to stop barking at wind against the window when its awesome? How can I be expected to not try to mess with that grocery bag when it smells like food and is therefore awesome? How cant I NOT sneeze all over Momma's cheeseburger because I think it'll gross her out then I can eat the whole thing which would be MEGA AWESOME?! I don't think Mom's thought this whole "no" thing through at all. Imagine if we could talk for a second. Imagine us saying "no" to all the things we didn't like! No to baths and toenail clippings, no to wrinkle cleaning and ear swabbing, no to tooth brushing and wearing clothes! Civil canine disobedience could be a movement! Next time your parents yell "NO" do like I do: look them in the eyes to acknowledge you heard them, then keep on doing what you're doing! Together we can take back the power! Be like this dog!